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The mode of your declaration

The mode of your declaration published on 10 Comments on The mode of your declaration

Source: Facebook

The surrounding conversation for those interested in more silliness:

A: Meh gotta disagree with you on this one. If it’s just a name why don’t you drop it? Some things should just not be messed with in life, traditions are traditions for a reason. I dunno just my two cents.

B: If its just a name, then my boyfriend can take mine.

This is a tradition that was based off of the basic idea that women become the property of their husband, hence them changing their last name to their man’s. And I am no one’s property.

A: Well, that’s true too but here.

“The last name thing is a symbol of oneness and provides ease in the ability to keep track of the family tree.

“That being said… here’s how I see it. If a woman really feels it’s that serious to have a long debate on whether or not she thinks it’s just, non- liberating, or old fashion for her to take my last name… I’d simply make it easy for her and marry her best friend or the other woman who didn’t seem to have a problem with it.

“Typically, I have found that when two people are really in love and the possibility of marriage is on the way… having the same last name is the least of their (HER) concern, but hey, that’s me.

“Usually those with the problem are still single. What a coincidence.”

Can’t take credit for this but it was well said.

B: Well then I’m glad you and I aren’t getting married.


“The last name thing is a symbol of oneness and provides ease in the ability to keep track of the family tree.” Ease of tracking the MALE line in a family tree. Tried tracing your female line? It’s a complete pain in the arse, and THIS IS WHY. Aside: I took my partner’s name when we married, as a symbol of ‘oneness’, and because we had traditional families. We later both changed to my maiden name – and the ‘oneness’ remained. Simples. Apologies if I’ve taken this way more seriously than intended 😉

I thought that too! I’ve been trying to trace my given name back through my maternal line, and it is a ROYAL pain.

Also, and I say this as someone who is taking my fiance’s name, I just love that sharing a name with your partner is clearly more important than sharing your life with that same partner. I mean, if your prospective partner is willing to marry someone else entirely *just* so they don’t have to have the conversation about whether or not you change your name, then clearly, it must be more important to said prospective partner. (Side note: most women don’t actually want a “long debate” about it. They just want to be able to make the choice.)

Yeah, you gotta love this guy’s priorities in lifetime commitment, don’t you?

Also, if it’s “just” a name, why not volunteer to change yours, to show how much (or how little) a name means? No? Geeeee, I wonder why men aren’t just lining up to prove how unimportant names are to people.

I’ve lived my whole life with my name, and I’m kind of attached to it. It’s not only how I identify myself, but also how everyone I know, or have ever had any contact with, identifies me. If I change my name, people who knew me when would have a heck of a time looking me up. People who read my work and want to read more would have a heck of a time finding anything new. It’s a real hassle.

Ever tried going by your middle name, rather than your first name? That’s also a hassle, and it doesn’t even involve legally changing your name. It’s just asking people to call you by your middle name, rather than your first name, and filling out paperwork with your middle name, instead of your first. And yet, it’s a ROYAL PAIN. But people do it, anyway, because names MEAN something.

This guy… (shakes head)

When I got married we each kept our own names.
When my brother got married they BOTH changed their names, which I thought was pretty great.
Options, they are plentiful.

Yep! There are so many good options. Another option is to double-barrel your surnames, resulting in you taking each others names while also keeping your own. But, this doesn’t work optimally if one of you has a double-barrel surname already, or one or both of your names are fuck-long already. My surname’s really short, so I see this as an option for me, anyway.

Our option: my spouse and I kept our last names, and we took each other’s last names as second middle names.

That is beautiful!

That is fantastic! I love it!

Also, I would like to point out, for those Regency-lovers out there, that hyphenated names were NOT introduced by raging feminists in the seventies, but were actually a thing even in Jane Austen’s time. Yes, because even then, they recognized that some women were really attached to their familial names and identities, and wanted to continue using those names, even while honoring the “oneness” of the marriage connection.

Traditions aren’t carved in stone. Traditions are fashion.

I’m taking the Gabledon defence in that my last name is a little unusual and I’ve spent many years in telling people how to spell it so it’s staying whereas my partners is very common in my part of the world. of my three sisters in law (I have only brothers all who are now leagally married) one hyphenated as per her cultures usual practice (she is from a Spanish speaking country) one took my brother’s last name and kept her maiden name as her middle name. My younger brother’s wife kept hers because the initials EE (hers) and HH (his) look so very cute together.
again Many Options most will annoy someone

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